Harry Sees A Shrink
by MollyWKUK
Summary: Harry goes to see a shrink and talks about his problems, but it doesn't go that nice. IF you like funny then read this now! If you need serious stuff then maybe you should stay away.
1. Harry consoles his problems

"So, how long have you been feeling...alone?" asked Harry's personal shrink.

"Well for about as long as I can remember," replied back Harry.

"So you remember to about yesterday?"

"What! NO! I can remember past that day!"

"Oh I'm sorry."

"I can remember up until last Tuesday."

"Harry, Tuesday was just yesterday!"

"So! I didn't know that, anyways saying I remember up until last Tuesday sounds like I remember more then when you say I remember yesterday."

"Well yes I suppose...okay Harry your getting off the point now, your still paying me by the minute."

"Damnit I thought I got off that plan."

"No, no, nobody called me to change your plan."

"Damn it! Well then I want to change it now!"

"YOU CAN'T!"

"And why the bloody hell not!"

"Because were in session now! You can't take up my time and yours to change your plan while your seeing me!"

"Why not? It's my time and I'm paying you."

"That's the point! Your paying me now so let's go on with your session!"

"Fine! You know what, your worse than Snape!"

"Who is Snape!"

"Aren't you a...um...witch shrink?"

"WHAT! NO! I'm am no witch, what is it that your playing at? There are no such thing!"

"Okay, just keep telling yourself that. But beware when you sleep at night."

"What was that statement?"

"Oh nothing...just that...I KNOW VOLDEMORT!"

"No who the hell is Voldemort?"

"SHHH! Your not allowed to say his name! Only I am, and well Dumbledore would have been able to if he didn't die...killed by SNAPE!"

"I do not have the slightest clue as to what your talking about!"

"And for that I'm very sorry, but nobody is allowed to say Voldemorts name!...But me."

"Are you serious?"

"WHAAAA! No I'm not Sirius! He died."

"Harry, I know you came here because you had problems...but I didn't know that you were...mentally ill..."

"I'm not sick! If I was then I could get it fixed like that," Harry said as he tried to snap his fingers, "Why can't I snap my fingers! DAMNIT!"

"Well I guess that's a sign that you can't get your illness fixed just like a snap, seeing how it's so hard for you."

"You know what just shut-up! Your getting annoying!"

"Okay, I'm sorry, let's move on."

"Alright, you go first."

"Okay, hello Volde...I mean you-know-who, how are you?"

"What the hell are you talking about? ANd to! And how did you know Voldemort's nick-name?"

"What! You actually call your imaginary friend you-know-who?"

"HE's NOT FAKE! HE'S A REAL BOY!"

"Harry I think you need these pills."

"What! I don't need any muggle cures! I can do it my own way. Infact I'm out of here! Your no help, good-day!" Harry got up and slammed the door. 


	2. That dang memory charm!

"So Hermione, how long have you been having these...thoughts?" asked that same shrink that Harry went to see the day before.

"Oh you mean the fact that I want to kill my best friend?"

"What? You never told me that!"

"Oh...wait your talking about the fact that I can't stop thinking about my friend Ron...sorry..."

"Are you mad? You want to kill your best friend?"

Hermione flustered in her seat then pulled out her wand.

"What are you going to do? Poke me to death with a stick?"

"You didn't hear anything..."

"What?"

Then Hermione did that memory charm thing..

"So Hermione, how long have you been having these...thoughts?"

"Are you stupid? You just asked me this question!"

"No I didn't!"

"Opps, I forgot I did a memory charm on you."

"What?"

"Opps I forgot you have no clue as to what I'm talking about." So Hermione did the charm once again.

"So, Hermione, how long have you been having these...thoughts?"

"Um since...the first day I met Ron."

"And when was this?"

"Well the day I met him..."

"Do you have a bad memory or something?"

"No, but I'm surprised you don't, doing that memory charm on someone alot can really mess up the brain!"

"What! Man why are all of my clients loony?"

"Your also Luna Lovegood's shrink?"

"Who?"

"Um...hold on." Hermione was looking for her wand again and she pulled it out.

"What are you going to do? Poke me with a stick?"

Hermione was getting tired of hearing her say the same thing so she did poke her with the wand.

"Ownch...that hurt."

"Really?"

"Kind-of...sort-of...you know what not really...why do you carry around a stick anyway? Magic?" the shirnk joked. Hermione looked shocked.

"Wow your not as dumb as I thought you were."

"What! Your just like that loony Harry Potter!"

"Um...you didn't hear anything."

"Why of course I did!"

Then Hermione yet again did the modifacation charm on her!

"Man, I have a head-ach."

"OH really, I can't imagine why."

"SO, Hermione, when-"

"I've been thinking of Ron since the first day of school when I was 12."

"Wow! How did you know what I was going to say?"

"Um..."

"You must be physcic!"

"HA HA, ever one know's there's no such thing."

"What?"

"Wait, you believe there's physcic's but not witches and wizards!"

"Who said anything about witches and wizards! Are you mad? That kid Harry Potter was saying the same thing!"

"Um...You didn't hear anything." Then Hermione got up to the door and had it half open and closed and she was standing out side of it.

"What are you doing?" asked the shrink.

"Oh this is so I can have a quick get-away and you would never know that I was here."

"Huh?"

THen Hermione did the memory charm one last time and ran.

"So, Hermione...Hermione? I thought she was here...I guess she skipped her appointment.." 


End file.
